


Like A Handprint On My Heart

by etoilecourageuse



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Goodbyes, Legilimency, Legilimens, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoilecourageuse/pseuds/etoilecourageuse
Summary: Queenie has never grown used to farewells, despite being confronted with them over and over again over the course of her life.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LillyRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillyRose/gifts).



> A very happy Chocolate Box Exchange to you, dear LillyRose! I really hope that you enjoy this - it's been my very first time writing Fantastic Beasts, therefore also my very first time diving deeper into Queenie... I will admit that I squealed a bit when I saw my assignment. Thank you so much for requesting them!

Over the course of her life, Queenie Goldstein had never grown used to farewells. She had despised them even as a young girl, her eyes filling with tears of fright and grief even at the imagination of what still lay far within the future, at times even at sheer references of farewells that she would stumble upon while reading a book or the newspaper. Her elder sister would often gently scold her even now that they had long grown into adults, would smile at what she what she often considered to be folly, but Queenie needn’t look into her mind to see, to know, that in truth it was not folly at all. That in truth she would never be blamed for her fears, as she had been marked by farewells too soon, at an age far too young. 

She had been only five when the Dragon Pox had taken her parents from her, forcing her into good-bye so quickly, so cruelly, leaving her behind incapable of understanding, of processing what had happened as she had been merely a child, and yet… Yet she had spent countless nights asking Tina about Mother and Father, had spent countless nights attempting to comfort her sister’s unspeakable grief in her childlike naïvety, before realising, truly, what had happened, before realising that this farewell had been eternal, that never again would they see their parents, that never again they would return. 

Queenie had never grown used to farewells, despite being confronted with them over and over through her constant striving to find a home, a true home, despite finding that over the course of the years many people would step into her life only to once again leave her behind, some in silence, and others finding the decency to look into her eyes during their last encounter. She had never grown used to farewells and perhaps never would, yet learned to distinguish over time between those that had a meaning and those that didn’t. 

Still, though… Still she dreaded them, dreaded them so beyond words, more than she would ever allow herself to admit, even to Tina. She had been young when she mastered Legilimency, following her instincts in a way that no book would be able to teach her, and soon finding that her skill would often given her hold, safety, as no longer she needed to worry about people’s intentions, as no longer she needed to be afraid of deception and insincerity, as no longer she needed to be concerned about sudden, unexpected good-byes. 

Jacob had been so easy to read, easiest of them all, perhaps, had been so sweet in his initial confusion that would soon give way to determination, a burning desire to help despite the awareness that it was impossible, and the will to defy the odds under any circumstances. He had been so easy to read, had caused her such pleasure each moment she had shared with him, as every word they had spoken, every glance they had shared had been special to her, special beyond belief. 

One day it would be time to bid her farewell to him, too, Queenie knew, knew that it was inevitable no matter how sincere his intentions to stay, no matter how strong their longing, would have long closed her heart towards him as she had many times before when a man had dared to make approaches to her, smiling at him and turning her back one moment later… But she couldn’t. Not with Jacob, not with him, could not turn her back to him in the way she had before, never willing to take her eyes off him and no longer hiding, her smile, her emotions genuine. He had been so easy to read… And yet she found that perhaps there had never been necessity to do so, unless for pure enjoyment, unless to fascinate him, and to cause him pleasure equal to her own. 

They were destined to be torn apart sooner or later, destined for farewell… But for the first time within her life Queenie would only laugh at the thought, would laugh and not care, as why should it matter? Why should the future matter when she was to devour the present, when only the present was of such importance, every minute, every second a delight? Why should she cloud the blitheness of their days together with nothing but foolish worry about the time to come, and allow unhappiness into their moments of joy? 

If to know him, if to truly know Jacob Kowalski meant good-bye, if good-bye was inevitable… She would gladly bid her farewell to him then, as still the memories would remain, memories she would treasure forever, memories that even after many years would still cause her to smile. 

She loved him. Truly, Queenie loved him, in a way she had never imagined to love, scarcely capable of suppressing a smile every time Tina would speak of him, even in her moments of greatest concern, she loved him, yet would never look into his mind to see whether or not their feelings were mutual. She loved him, dreaded farewells, still, yet would forget about what lay ahead of them nearly entirely at times, neither hoping for miracles nor forcing herself into distraction, would merely forget, forget as soon as she closed her eyes to see him right before her even when he was far, as soon as she could hear his voice speak to her, never having lost its startled yet fascinated undertone. 

How empty her life would have been, had she never known him, how empty her heart would have been had they never encountered, had he never left his handprint upon her, and had she turned away from him… He had changed her, Jacob had changed her, had taken her fear from her, and even if they were to never see each other again, even if their paths were to never cross again, even if their farewell were to be eternal… Queenie would not think of the moment of good-bye in the times she remembered him, would not choose a memory like this to be connected to his name but any other, any other memory as they all had been beyond beautiful, as together, for the briefest of moments, they had rewritten history.


End file.
